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Am waiting ….

CATGIRL
E-mail :  sweetest_girl_81@hotmail.com

WWW= WHAT WENT WRONG !!!

PART 1 

She was just browsing through her favourite social networking website,checking messages and peeping into the links of her friends to see if any of her girlfriends has had an affair or if they were about to break up…or anyyy spicy gossip that she was yet unaware of and which she can possibly ignite !!At the same time she was listening to the new rage “Hips don’t lie” by Shakira and shaking to its catchy beat and yet at the same time she was smiling meaningfully at the sms she just received which said “Come online sweetheart, I am dying to talk to you!”. Her reply “ I am already here Darling, waiting for you since ages !!”. In moments a window popped open on the messenger and she became excited to see her “friend” online –ready to be drifted into another 3-4hour long episode of Alice in wonderland!!- the chatting session was always like a large dose of magic potion that eased away all her troubles and made her look starry-eyed to the future that lay ahead! 

They used to talk on all different topics ,initially starting with a comparison of their likes and dislikes as they had listed on their social site. Then they discovered that they were addicted to messaging,which led to an exchange of phone numbers and from then on a talking session always followed the chatting one into midnight!! ..Those were the most exciting days for both of them.They knew each other perfectly. They planned of meeting and then of their careers and then their friends and ultimately marriage. She had always known in her heart that he was her Mr.Right.He seemed good-looking in his display pics and was educated enough to support her afterwards. She guiltily used to check his open messages for any sign of flirting with other girls but she never found one .She was relaxed and amazed and then sometimes tense over how to keep this perfect man with her for ever!!

2 meetings and 6 months later the 2 got married. It was unbelievable. Everything just seemed to follow through. From the chats to the phone calls to the dates and then the parent-convincing part Infact that was easiest as they both belonged to an educated family background. They both were in love. Pure love. They shared the same thoughts about most issues. There was hardly any issue that remained disguised between them. People called them soul mates.


Until the wedding night….

PART 2
It was the moment that they both had waited for. He felt calm. She was nervous. After changing into normal clothes,he was to do the part with animal grace, when he sensed that something was wrong.
 She was stiff and shaking a bit.

 “Are you cold? Should I turn the A.C. down honey??

 “ No.It isn’t that. I am just not ready.” She said in a meek voice after a long silence and a tear rolled down the corner of her eye. 

 He was shocked!!! Not even in his worst dreams had he thought of seeing his beloved cry on the first touch. After cajoling the pretty doll some more and not getting the desired response he let go of the grace part and became an animal altogether. He had the societal and religious approval for it so why not then?? He put a hand to her mouth firmly and did it to his best!! When he was through she was numb and emotionless. He became fidgety,got up ,took his cigarette in his mouth and started smoking in the balcony making circles in the air. A long silence prevailed. A pregnant silence…. 
She tried to gather her wits and collect her body. Half an hour passed. He came back. They both slept again with their back against each other. 
It was a night they had always dreamt of. 
It was a night that they wish they would forget….now !!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>***>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
This short real-life anti-climax may seem difficult to digest by readers who have yet to attain connubial bliss and they take it as fiction rather than a glaring,staring hard fact of the foundation of marital life.
What is happening in this world is that people are not exactly falling in love. They are confusing infatuation with emotions that are just skin deep.Behavioural experiments have shown that there is no such thing as love-at –first-sight. Infact when people were shown face pics of opposite sex looking at different angles at the camera, the same face was termed more attractive with an in-the-face stare rather than when looking sideways. Meaning we are drawn more towards people who make eye contact irrespective of how really good they actually are.
As far as the internet scene  is concerned  you may not even know if the person in pics or in written declaration is the ‘real deal’ or just how he/she wants you to perceive him/her. It can also be that people do continue to adore the person they fall head-over-heels in love with at first sight. However, it can also be that later on they discover that it was actually the style of talking or material well-being that initially attracted them and helped in staying attracted for good!! Only if Lady Luck ,decides not to be ‘so-lady-like’ and puts them through a trying time do they realize that they never were compatible!!!! And one of these utterly non-serendipitous test is that how much you are getting married to a ’gender’ and how much to a ‘person’. To put it bluntly whether you want a ‘soul-mate’or a ‘body-mate’. It’s a common complaint that females resist the ‘doing it’ decision on the first night while the male stands bewildered ,having been allowed by religious standards ,thinking” Wasn’t this the ‘thing’ she had always wanted ???” !!!


PART 3

This article is an attempt from a girl who is yet to see that point in her life but supplemented with views of her peers and experienced people it forced her to take upon a social issue…a SOCIAL TABOO as you may call it. What is taken as animated stories by newly-wed girls and a poking joke by un-eligible bachelors  is usually something that is condemned by law. But like most taboos noone accepts it is even there!!! Yes,my friends, we are talking about the grave issue of Marital Rape. A term that makes you grimace just by  reading it out. We are not talking about just not using contraceptives and creating unwanted babies without the consent of the ‘body’ which is their first home-that too is one of the issues that may be brought to light later. 
Marital Rape means a rape by all means an un-consensual attempt that leaves the female not only physically and sexually but emotionally bruised but one in which the male is religiously permitted to do so. But religion in the twisted sense , as it always has been taken is kept at bay along with the rights of the woman to deal with her body. What happens is when the two people are not comfortable at the climax of their intimacy then its likely to creep into their day-today affairs too not to mention getting worse in every other similar attempt. 
What men don’t understand is that they need to be gentle and to underplay the whole scene with a romantic rather than a sexual outlook. Holding hands, talking, asking, cajoling all might work ,but pressurizing and commanding wont and once done it would make something die ….deep down inside her forever. She becomes mechanical and starts thinking of her man as a giant municipal truck with its jaws opening and closing to pick the debris that lays ahead-her body. Until her emotions are involved,her body doesn’t open up or respond and those who had their bio lessons in 10th grade know what this means precisely. So a tip to remember is “ Value ‘her emotions’ not ‘your actions’ “-or the law comes after you !! “
Well..What the heck??? If you are in Pakistan you shouldn’t even be reading this article there’s no red-zone for males.
Now comes the issue of a having a queue of heirs. Men say “ why not??”mostly middle-class or less-educated males(forget the illiterate ones). They have this dogged belief that a larger family is a proof of their masculinity. As if he gets a star-shaped badge every time the baby-making-machine(trust me there is one in process every hour in your area) is at the hospital for churning out the end-product. Even the well-educated , religious males say ‘contraceptives are not allowed in religion. Period!!”. Well I am not a scholar by any means to give them a backed-up answer. All I ask is “Why not ‘control’ your desires then?? You don’t have to suffer. She does. For you it may just be 9 minutes..for her 9 months!! Cant you see?? Cant u feel??? DID YOU EVER TALK TO HER ABOUT IT ????”

Well I once found this religious part wali aunty telling my mom,: All my boys were in the million march. Oh yeah, all 9 of them. They are going to be Mujahids you know. so the more the merrier !!” Well the last part is right. I hav seen them prancing around and playing hide and seek in the march, running away from Tarawih in the middle, and exploding fireworks on sacred nights !! oh and yes the occasional fractured hand or bruised leg which they had while fighting the other non-religious party guys. Oh they came back Ghazis alright !! coming back to the point I just have this one question to answer all the claims..” Muslims were in most need of men when they were fighting with kuffars in mekkah. They were in a ratio of 1:3 or maybe less, the Holy Prophet(SAW) had 13 wives, from them only 4 daughters. Can anyone tell me how many sons he had? Or even grandsons(besides the 2 we respect most)??? Why doesn’t any religious male quote his lifestyle while discussing kids and all? How He used to treat his women? What He told Muslims to follow for the right of women????” 

Answer me all this and then we will talk about masculinity, kids and our religion!!