One of the hardest things in my life could be letting go of a person I love the most. I know I shouldn’t have to do it but I beat myself up inside if I don’t. Questions keep running through my mind.. Why do I have to let go if I can still hold on? But why do I have to hold on when things are getting worst? I let go, I just did, but it tears me apart. =’( I’m just keeping myself shut in front of the people and friends around me coz I don’t want them to see me weak and pathetic. I thought everything would be alright if I let go of him. I thought I can forget him easily after all the things he has done to me. I thought I could do everything I wanna do with my friends just like him… I thought I could set myself free from the things that caused me too much animosity. I thought I’d be able to let go of my agitations and resentments. I thought.. I thought.. But I never thought I myself would kill me and make myself feel too helpless and wretched. If only he had known how much I loved him and everything I did was to strengthen our relationship, then he would have known how much I’d tried to hold on and wouldn’t have had to screw up everything.. Now, I let go. He said the problem was I was just too demanding, not appreciating every single thing he does for me. He thinks I am now happy having good times with my friends.. But he doesn’t know that I am now in the stage of finding my self in my new world, picking up every broken pieces of me, and somehow hoping that someday I would be able to find the person who would love me the way I wanted to be loved, and I wish and pray that person would STILL be HIM. If only I know how to bring back the broken trust, start a new beginning with him and make him happy with me around then I’d jump at the chance. =’(